3 Relationships Worth Investing In

“You are the average of the five closest people you spend your time with.” - Tony Robbins

Have you ever heard this statement before? Although I’ve never been into listening to motivational speakers like Tony, I think there may be some truth to this. Proverbs 4:23 says “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Who we surround ourselves with, listen to and open ourselves up to will have great influence on the person we will become. I’ve seen this happen first hand in my own life and the results ended in either growth or stagnation. Surround yourself with people who gossip, are fearful, and speak negatively all the time and it will most likely lead you to do the same. Surround yourself with people who spend time with the Lord delighting in the scriptures and singing His praises, and you too will probably be encouraged when they remind you of who God is and you will want to spend more time with Him and share this with others.

Humans are wired for community. We were created to have fellowship with God and with His people. Together we are to cultivate the earth (Genesis 1:28) and seek for His Kingdom to come here on earth as it is in Heaven (Matthew 6:10). Two years after COVID-19 came upon us and we are still dealing with the aftermaths of this pandemic. It’s clearer now more than ever how isolation has negatively impacted so many people relationally, the statistics are out there. I’m sure there are several today who can’t even count those 5 closest people who they spend most of their time with. This isn’t just a Biblical principle, its basic psychology, it’s not good for man to be alone.

If you were to take a moment and take some inventory on the relationships in your life presently, how would you describe them? Many? Few? Surface-y? Challenging? Encouraging? Draining? Are they only online or do you get to spend some time in person? Would you say they draw you closer to or distract you from the Lord? How are they influencing the person you are becoming?

Someone wise once told me that a healthy Christian has three types of relationships in their lives; a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy. If we are lacking one of these it’s important to seek them out not just for our own good but the good of others and the advancement of God’s Kingdom here on earth. The relationships you will choose to invest in will produce some sort of results in your life time and the next. These three types below are worth investing in if we want to see a good and fruitful harvest.

Mentor - Paul

In the New Testament we see Paul as a mentor Timothy and many others. Paul loved, prayed for and gave wisdom to Timothy as if he was his own son. Paul believed that God set Timothy apart to advance God’s Kingdom and Paul encouraged Timothy to step out in the giftings the Lord gave him and lay down his life for this. Who in your life has walked through some hard and good times with the Lord over many years? Who do you know is talking with the Lord daily that you look up to and want to have a relationship with God like theirs? Someone you can trust and are quick to obey the wisdom and advice they give you for your good? Who is discipling you and breaking down what the Scripture has to say on certain things?

There are so many people today doing life on their own without leaders or pastors present. Whether it’s because they’ve had a past leader misuse their authority in abusive way or because they are not interested in being led by anyone else but themselves, let me tell you having Godly leaders in your life is far better than without them. And I mean in your life, where you can talk to them often about what you are walking through with the Lord, or where you need to repent and work through a certain sin pattern, or for the mere encouragement, refreshment and Godly wisdom that the Lord is looking to give to you through them. Submission to a Godly leader you can trust (out of submission to God) is so worth it and is bound to bring great fruit in your life, especially when they really know you and your blind spots. I could go on and on about the blessings that my mentors are to me for they not only have been used as an instrument for God to change me (trust me I would not be the person I am today without them) but also they have been so faithful to point me to Christ instead of themselves to fix the problems I walked through.

Friend- Barnabas

Barnabas was a friend to Paul, they traveled, served and did ministry with each other. Do you have some friends that are in similar seasons of life as you that you’ve been able to be honest with? I am so thankful to God for the friends He has placed in my life. True friends who encourage and pray for one another while at the same time just getting to enjoy one another by conversation, laughing, eating a great meal, adventuring, or other mutual interests. The Lord truly refreshes you through the presence of a good and Godly friend that is practically family. Some of the times I’m most thankful to have friends besides me is when we get to serve alongside each other. Being able to be on mission for the same purpose, the advancement of God’s Kingdom-not our own has brought great joy. There are so many people we can choose to surround ourselves with and I am thankful for those who would surround me not just in good times but in the hard times. The friends who would bring a meal when I lost a grandparent, go grocery shopping for me when I had COVID, or simply write me a letter of encouragement reminding me of to stir up the specific giftings God has given me and use them for the benefit of others.

Disciple- Timothy

Timothy was a disciple of Paul and we can see what a great impact that left by Paul deciding to serve Timothy in this position, the continuation of more disciples and more churches as the Gospel was advanced. God calls all of us to disciple in the Great Commission, this commandment isn’t something we take lightly, we all have something to pass on. Maybe it’s sitting with someone and going through scripture or a study together or some one on one mentorship where you can share from your walk with the Lord. Some people feel like discipling may not come natural to them but there are in fact people the Lord has placed around you that you may know a little more about that you can share with them and help them in. Have you taken a look at the kids wing at your church lately? So many of my friends who grew up in the church are so grateful for those who raised them in the faith and poured into them when they were in elementary school. If you’ve prayed about it and don’t see someone the Lord may has placed before you to disciple, start with the kid’s ministry in your church- it will be such a blessing to see the fruit that will come over time from the seeds you planted.